Thursday, September 17, 2009

Places to Pick Up Women

Best Places to Pick Up Women in the USA
Hit just the right spot for her

From the mountains, to the prairies, to the females, far and wiiiiiiiide, God bless America… Okay, you get the picture. We love us some USA because it truly is the land of opportunity. You may not be able to get a job or pay for health insurance, but you can always pick up a lady friend. We decided to help you focus your search down to the best places in the nation to pick up women, you know, just to give you a leg up. So to speak.

Gentlemen...your list of places to pick her up.

Texas: Austin
For your money, this is the only city worth visiting in Texas. Provided you want to pick up a chick or two. We included the whole city here because this city is a wealth of chick-picking-uppery (yet another term we have coined). Austin has a primo downtown area and a little something for everyone: country-western bars (gag), dance clubs, sports bars, outdoorsy stuff, and pseudo-artsy places, if that’s your bag. The Austin 6th Street Bar is particularly ripe for the pickin’. The city also has plenty of live music in various spots, which acts as a magnet for chicks wanting to throw sexual caution to the wind. And that’s what we in the biz call ‘Paradise’.

Tip: Bring extra deodorant. It’s hot.

Colorado: Slopes of Aspen

There’s something magical about being locked into a small ski town for a week that makes women want to lock their winter-coat-covered arm through yours and stroll off into the two degree night. Maybe it’s the spiked hot chocolate or the fact that people's possible imperfections are hidden under ski masks and six layers of thermals. All we know is Aspen with its multiple slopes is a breeding ground (hehe) for snagging a chick. And we mean that in a totally non-creepy, legal way.

Tip: Avoid licking the flag poles.

Manhattan: Brother Jimmy’s BBQ
Kristin Cavallari Hosts Brother Jimmy’s Grand Opening

This place not only has a great atmosphere, great food, and lots of booze, but it is also a haven for many a female waiting to be hit on. There are several locations to choose from around Manhattan, but we suggest the location across from The Garden at 31st and 8th. Here you get plenty of wild local chicks, but also get a high volume of out-of-towners looking to make some bad decisions while on vacay. And don’t shy away from picking up the employees either. The waitresses and bartenders are almost all females and are allowed to sip an adult beverage while working.

Tip: There may or may not be syphilis in the bathroom. Proceed with caution.

Florida: Panama City Beach 

Sure, this one has specific dates attached to it, but it is well worth it. If picking up hot and intoxicated college chicks isn’t your thing, then you are a loser.

But don’t worry, Spring Break has now become a holiday for other hotties that actually have a career and pretend to be responsible. Luckily, they are hitting Panama City to throw some fuel on the dying embers of their youth. Hello, opportunity. When the sun disappears and the crowds move into the city, go to The Boatyard. This is a spot where you are guaranteed to pick up a vixen.

Tip: Don’t write your name on your chest with sunscreen. That’s just lame.

Utah: Sundance Film Festival

Again, you only have a short period of time out of the year to exploit this location, but you would be wise to do so. Thousands of fans, film types, and Hollywood clingers shack up for a little over a week every January to get wasted and hit on one another under the guise of the cinema. And luckily, the festival covers four cities which expands your pick up horizons. Throw a rock and you’ll hit a party in progress. Throw another rock and you’ll hit a chick waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet for the better part of the week. You’ll just have to explain why you threw a rock at her.

Tip: Say you have a film in competition. They’ll never check on it later.


Post a Comment